They will all throw fits about their coats covering their costumes. They will inevitably complain about the house on the corner that hands out raisins and toothbrushes. She needs all that garbage candy the kids got at the mall to heat her house or some BS. Feel bad and buy them sunbutter cups and hibiscus iced tea.
Pumpkin Spice is upon us. The house that got hit the worst belongs to the weird family on the corner who, instead of Three Musketeers bars, hands out creepy comic books about trick or treaters going to Hell.
Scotch tape the two dimensional, cardboard skeleton to the front door. Candy is out of the question. Get a big bag of Smarties and Tootsie Rolls, film for the Kodak and some flash cubes, and let the youngest kids pick out a costume in a box — basically a flimsy plastic rain poncho with a picture of their favorite character on the front and a mask with minuscule eyeholes and a teeny slit for a mouth to somewhat breathe out of.
Your El Camino and the Duster next door are clean. Hers are the best. Put on front step to find that the next morning it has been eaten by opossums. Let them have the Swanson TV dinners in the little tins on TV trays in the den as a special treat that night.
Post 27 pumpkin photos on Instagram. Change all your social media profile pics to a butterfly head selfie. Toss all of the seeds because no one ever eats them anyway. That's me as Casper.
Now you can start getting ready for Thanksgiving. Hand out candy to all the trick or treaters. Hand them a flashlight from the garage and turn them loose.
It seems like there are at least a hundred.
Get home before sunset. Put on front step to find that the next morning it has been eaten by opossums. Pack family in car in coordinated plaid, earth-toned outfits, drive over an hour away, fight the hoardes of PSL fueled maniacs for a parking space. Place LED candle inside. Allow the older children to come up with their own costumes.
No one panic now. Joylessly trick or treat at the mall. Attempt to get everyone to eat gluten-free, butternut squash and sage tortellini.Port Manteaux churns out silly new words when you feed it an idea or two.
Enter a word (or two) above and you'll get back a bunch of portmanteaux created by jamming together words that are conceptually related to your inputs.
For example, enter "giraffe" and you'll get. Download-Theses Mercredi 10 juin Victoria Fedden is a humor writer from South Florida. On her website she shares funny stories, book reviews, recipes and tips for writers. 🔥Citing and more!
Add citations directly into your paper, Check for unintentional plagiarism and check for writing mistakes. Download-Theses Mercredi 10 juin 🔥Citing and more!
Add citations directly into your paper, Check for unintentional plagiarism and check for writing mistakes.Download